I was having a delightful dinner with a good friend and we were talking about how amazed we were that no matter how much we worry or get upset things still work out.
I said to her, What’s this all about? We worry and get upset and yet whatever happens we’re still fine in the end.
The things I thought were “problems” weren’t really problems AT ALL. And the reason for this is:
Most problems (if not all) are based on old memories.
Our mind registers thoughts in our subconscious that happened in the past.
Issues that arise are really OFFERINGS to show us what no longer serves and is ready to drop out. And once they’re cleared, they no longer have the power to run us.
When dealing with a problem, I tend to say, Oh NO and close up and shut down, only to find a relatively short time later, I’m like, WHEW—Well, thank God THAT’s over.
It does pass . . . But what makes it so painful or difficult while it’s happening is because we’ve bought into a story about who we are from our childhood, things that were said about us or we were told that now we believe.
A not-enoughness that wants to be enough; An unlovability that wants to be loved; A wrong that needs to be righted; Or the lie that we are broken.
But if we allow ourselves to feel what we’re feeling without attaching a story to that feeling, the feeling can remain in it’s original state—a sensation that can easily pass.
I like this quote by Woody Allen as an illustration.
You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The paradox consists of the fact that when we fall in love, we are seeking to re-find all or some of the people to whom we were attached as children. On the other hand, we ask our beloved to correct all the wrongs that these early parents or siblings inflicted on us. So that love contains in it the contradiction: The attempt to return to the past and the attempt to undo the past.
So just like with romantic love, ALL relationships and “people problems” occur because of stored data.
HERE’S ONE WAY TO HELP WITH THIS:
It’s an ancient Hawaiian healing technique called Hoʻoponopono.
The trick is to take personal responsibility for the “upset” by bringing awareness to the fact that it’s triggering something in you from your past.
Then, invoke a sense of Love and say repeatedly to yourself (not to anyone else but to yourself ONLY):
Please forgive me.
I love you.
As you do this let your mind goes where it goes. For me, it goes everywhere.
My child self. My participation in every relationship I’ve ever had. The moments I didn’t love myself. Any judgments.
I do it for my creative projects too. Any memory or present moment that brings me pain, sorrow, jealousy, or anger. Any obsessive thoughts or reactions.
You can do it for everything, whenever. And let it be emptied.
Here’s to being free from worry and upset!