“Doubt the uncomfortable and comfort the disturbed.” – Mary Karr.
Have you started a project but feel frustrated and considered dropping it?
Are you in the middle of a project and realize things have started to get hard? Are you feeling some resistance, or maybe even feeling bored?
Are you sensing that you’re near the end of a project but unsure about how you’re going to find the energy to complete it?
Or, maybe you haven’t started anything new because you just aren’t sure what you really want to do?
(If any of these ring true, reply to this letter and let me know what’s going on for you.)
There are many phases in life where we can get stuck. It’s important to accept these experiences as normal and not assign a huge amount of meaning to them. These feelings say nothing about your project, your life, or you.
Instead, these reactions can be an invitation to ask the big questions: “What feels impossible to do right now? What seems so hard that you just aren’t able to follow through?”
On the other side of “impossible” is great growth. When you meet what seems the hardest and you challenge yourself, you transcend into unlimited possibility, and you’ll find your whole life wakes up.
So why DON’T we challenge ourselves sometimes? Why is it easier to remain safe and secure in our inactivity or distractions?
It’s because you—and everyone else—is often afraid to feel a feeling. In such moments of discomfort the body feels restless, uneasy. The mind fills with limiting beliefs and it becomes so easy to fall prey to self-pity. “I can’t do it, it’s too hard, it’s too scary. . . ”
To counteract this, I recommend you brainstorm everything that is important to you in your life. List out the top 10 things that matter to you. And then narrow the list down to the top 5. Ask yourself if you are really making these a priority.
If not, then perhaps there is another question to ask yourself, “What am I afraid to feel?”
Feeling your feelings can be so terrifying. We think they could overwhelm us and take us over, and we worry we might lose control. So we hunker down, suppress, push away, and resist what we most want, which is ultimately our own happiness and freedom.
The opportunity is to allow our feelings without manipulating them. And by “allowing” them, I don’t mean blowing them out of proportion and letting them overrun you. True feelings are easy and gentle when you are present with them. They rise quickly and then gently release.
Feeling your feelings becomes the practice and it’s so simple you won’t even realize it’s happening.
Whenever you feel stuck, bored, frustrated, irritated, angry, or want to run away, it’s important to remember that you’re feelings won’t hurt you. If you allow their surrender, they pass quite quickly.
In truth, underneath challenging feelings, there lies a gentle, soft feeling that simply wants to be listened to. Perhaps it’s a small, innocent, tender, maybe even child-like, frightened part of you.
Hold this part of yourself dear and keep them close. With loving presence, sit with them, hold them, allow them be whoever they are and feel however they feel.
What seems like a great challenge will then pass easily and you will return to the focus, clarity and excitement you need to accomplish everything you want to accomplish.
Wishing you flow, movement and creativity!
