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How To Not Let Your Emotions Carry You Away

A couple of months ago I wrote this article, Can We Do This Together? I was touched and overwhelmed by the response, THANK YOU!

I’m really interested in learning more about what YOU need, how I can help, and how we can all learn from each other.

There were such interesting and insightful questions that I’ll be sharing them — and my answers — over the next weeks. Enjoy!

A reader wrote, I struggle with being present sometimes. It’s like I’m fighting against preconditioned judgments and negative emotions attached to them. It’s particularly difficult when I’m intensely experiencing an emotion (I.e. being triggered) while trying not to go down the habitual path of being carried away by it. There’s this strong gravitational pull towards the usual path, like being blown in a really really strong wind, and I’m trying hard to stay put. It can feel really exhausting!

This reader’s visual is very powerful. When we think of our negative judgments as wrong and bad, we can get blown away in a windstorm.

The trick is to accept them without judgment.

Say to the judgment, Okay. You’re here. Hello! You have my permission to be present.

The key is to understand the difference between emotions and feelings. Emotions are thoughts put on a feeling.

Feelings + Thought = Emotion.

If we allow ourselves to feel what we’re feeling without attaching a story or thought to that feeling, the feeling can remain in its original state — a sensation that can easily pass.

When an emotion is carrying you away, identify the feeling by narrowing it down to one of the four:

Anger
Fear
Sadness
Love

Then, drop whatever story is attached to those feelings. The, He said this and she said that, this happened and THAT happened story.

Feelings on their own can pass away quickly, like a cloud moving across a sky . . .

Our feelings are layered. Underneath our anger is fear. Under fear is sadness. And under sadness is our heart — where our joy and loving lies.

When we feel the feelings without the story attached to them, we’re free.

The good news is spirals can both DESCEND and ASCEND. So when we hit particularly difficult downward spirals, the opportunity present is to focus on putting our attention on RAISING our frequency.

It’s as simple (although it doesn’t seem simple) to stop fueling what has us on the descent and focus instead on lifting ourselves UP.

In these times, I meditate more. I choose not to fuel the negativity by talking too much about it with friends. I clean up my diet. I go to yoga—whatever it takes to make a positive adjustment towards self-loving and self-care.

When my mind starts to go into a spin, I say to myself, Oh! There it is! Time to put my attention on something else.

Then I find something that will GROUND me. It could be as easy as taking the garbage out (literally!), jumping into a project that fulfills me, or taking a walk in the sunshine.

Because when we choose to ground ourselves, we choose to change our vibration—and keep the good things coming to us on the up-and-up.

Here’s to an upward course!

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Lynn Newman