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Finding Ease Through Challenges, Loss, and Difficulty

The other day someone asked me, “If there was one message you had to deliver, what would it be?” I paused, looked out the window, and then said the first thing that came to my mind:

I’d want people to know that challenges don’t have to be as hard as we think. If we remain open and willing, we can allow anything to arise—the good, the bad and the ugly. No matter what, we will endure when we have a basic sense of knowing we can trust ourselves.

The next day, I was having lunch with my husband. I told him how surprised I was that I said that.

He said, “Wait a minute. The losses you faced weren’t easy for you.”

And he was right. It wasn’t easy. I just wished I knew where I would end up when it was all over—a whole new happy, fulfilling life was hiding right behind the corner.

It’s possible to meet challenges with an openness and a willingness to accept everything that arises. You can allow them to be and also trust there’s something beautiful, possibly even magnificent, waiting for you right on the other side.

In fact, I believe challenges come because we’re ready to grow. And on the other side of that growth, even if it’s debilitating painful at times, there is a whole new life ready to meet us.

After coming home from lunch, I saw a blog posted on my FB page from an old friend. She was discussing the very same thing! (Love when that happens…)

She wrote:

I was talking to someone and we were discussing the spiritual tests that come with the path of a spiritual warrior…the day-to-day issues that force our attention to be distracted. This might make us question and lose confidence in ourselves, creating a cloudy and fearful perspective on things. You must be quiet and keep some of those doubts close to your chest in anticipation that change is coming. I found this isn’t easy, no matter how much work you have done on yourself, or how powerful you are.

This made me think about a passage in my new book coming out soon:

Give yourself permission to embrace [the challenges, losses and difficulties], softly. What you feel doesn’t have to be so bad. It passes quickly with a gentle touch, a gentle hand.

Even with great trauma, losses, death, the greatest injustices, betrayal, received abuse or neglect, our opportunity is to find our own tender loving for ourselves.

In fact, it’s even more crucial in our most troublesome moments.

Our mind knows how harming it was so it blocks us from a potential re-wounding. All our defenses go up. But, like a warrior, it takes courage, strength, bravery and fortitude to heal. It also takes humility.

A true warrior knows to not go to extremes, react off handedly, and to practice restraint. She doesn’t fight for destruction but for love.

Wishing you ease through your life’s challenges and sending you all my love!

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Lynn Newman